7 Ways to Set Yourself Up for Success

Have you ever had the experience of setting a goal for yourself and working towards it only to find yourself at a completely different destination than you originally chose?  If so, you’ll value these helpful tips and strategies for staying on track.

In Jacqueline Kelm’s book, The Joy of Appreciative Living, Your 28-Day Plan to Greater Happiness in 3 Incredibly Easy Steps, she describes these 7 Steps for Staying on Track to help you reach your goals.  I’ve paraphrased them here to share with you as they’re loaded with great ideas.  Enjoy!

1. Create Positive Rituals:  Rituals are behaviours we repeat automatically.  One way to create a positive ritual is to specify ahead of time exactly when, where and how we will do the positive activity.  By thinking ahead and planning where, when and how we will incorporate an activity into our lives, we are more likely to do it and repeat it.
2. Track Your Results:  Tracking our results allows us to see our progress and boost our enthusiasm about achieving our goals.  Reflecting on our overall experience, we notice changes and the perceived success will motivates us to continue the journey.  Results can be tracked by creating a checklist or spreadsheet that gets check off when a task is accomplished.  Or it can be as simple as reviewing past work and results and comparing them to today.
3. Reward Your Success:  When we experience the pleasure of a reward after doing a new activity, our brain secretes chemical neurotransmitters that reinforce the changes we just made.  To determine a reward, make a list of the things you enjoy, and then select one of them to use as your reward for a given week.  It can be as simple as enjoying a cup of your favourite drink or a round of golf.  The thought of the reward motivates us to do what we know we should and want to do.
4. Create Novelty: In reality anything we do for an extended period of time eventually loses its excitement factor.  Shifting or adjusting things a bit can keep them interesting and exciting. Get creative and find new ways to keep doing what’s important to you.  For example, try the non-dominant hand writing on your Friday mornings or spend part of the time with eyes closed visualizing your ideal (leadership, situation, upcoming meeting etc).
5. Get Inspired:  Inspiration comes from a distinctly positive source. (Whereas motivation can come from either)  One way to build inspiration is to create a future image so compelling that everything in you wants to make it happen.  Make your image of the ideal and describe everything about it as detailed as possible.  Visualizing the ideal inspires us to complete the activities we know will get us there.
6. Partner with Someone or Join a Group:  The key here is accountability.  Having either a program or a partner to hold us accountable to our goals will increase our probability of success. (Consider how this works with the major weight-loss programs).  One tactic is sharing our goals with another person – someone who will be supportive of our desires.
7. Do it Anyway: There are days when we just don’t feel like doing things differently; things we know will bring us closer to our goals.  We can revisit our ‘ideal vision’ for motivation or we can ‘just do it’, knowing it will bring us what we really want.

Expect Success

March is “Expect Success” month.  Isn’t that nice! It makes me feel good just to write about this topic. 

Today we’re going to look at a strengths-based approach to creating success in our business. Generally speaking, we’re conditioned in our society to spend our time and money focusing on where we’re lacking and what we need to improve upon so that we can ‘fix it’.  The downside to this approach is that it keeps us blind to all of the greatness we have to offer, and diverts us from exploring how to utilize our existing gifts and talents to create what we want more of in our business and our lives.

The foundation of focusing on our strengths to be successful that we’re going to explore comes from Appreciative Inquiry (AI). AI began as an organizational change philosophy developed by David Cooperrider and his thesis supervisor, Suresh Srivastva in 1980.  Recently it has been developed into a personal growth and development tool for anyone to use, by Jacqueline Kelm which she calls Appreciative Living.  Jacqueline has written about this in her new book The Joy of Appreciative Living, Your 28-Day Plan to Greater Happiness in 3 Incredibly Easy Steps (yes, they really are incredibly easy and incredibly powerful)!

Based on these concepts, the questions below can get you started in utilizing your natural strengths and what you’re doing well already, to create greater success in your business.

Explore these questions to help you create your ideal business:

1. What is going well in my business right now?
2. What do I want more of?
3. When I think of the challenge(s) I’m facing in my business today, when was a time in my past when I’ve faced something similar?  How did I overcome it? (Who did I engage for assistance, what steps did I take, what was the key in successfully overcoming it.)
4. How can I apply what I learned from that past experience (above) to what I’m facing today?
5. What do I truly believe about reaching the level of success I desire in my business?
6. Complete this vision with as much detail as possible:  “My ideal business looks like this…”

What we focus on grows; and what we expect – we get. By answering these questions we take a look at what is working; and by imagining our desired future we’re motivated to take positive action in creating our ideal. 

Considering the positive outcomes from the exercise above, and reflecting upon what’s worked in the past, we’re retraining our thought patterns to see what’s right in any given circumstance and revealing a roadmap for future success.  The result is greater success along with greater joy!

Perseverance

In the spirit of the athletes who must overcome so much to achieve their Olympic dreams, what can we borrow from that spirit to keep us going in business when times are tough?  How do we keep going – persevere – when we’re feeling discouraged, disheartened, tired or directionless?

The definition of perseverance is: Steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles or discouragement.

I think the answer is in this definition.  I know as I create my ideal business, one of the dominant features has been to cultivate calm, comfort and ease in my personal and business life.  Living in Canada, it’s quite possible to do this.  Not that I haven’t faced strife and struggle – I guarantee you I have – but I’m always searching for the easier way; the path of least resistance. 

But when it comes to achieving a goal that I’m passionate about, this desire for the easy path can act in opposition to my success. Facing tough obstacles with this mindset can lead to giving up, giving in or becoming discouraged because something got in my way.  A fly has entered the ointment; a rough spot on my smooth journey.  In my business this can manifest as avoiding doing the things I don’t like or that are hard for me.

 Accepting that perseverance is about achieving your desires and reaching the goals you have set for yourself in spite of difficulties, obstacles or discouragement wakens me to the knowledge that my success depends on my ability to overcome and persist in the face of a challenge.

The truth is, obstacles will appear, and this reality check prepares me for such eventualities while I hold the vision of my desired future.  We build strong muscles through resistance training and without resistance our muscles become weak and flabby.  I know that overcoming resistance makes me and my business stronger, and so I soldier on. 

Like the Japanese proverb says: Fall seven times, stand up eight.  

A New Kind of Resolution

Well, it’s that time of year again.  It’s the time when many of us take stock of our accomplishments from the previous year and set goals for improvement for the upcoming year.

I think that it’s valuable to give yourself some quiet space to reflect on the past and envision your future in whatever form works for you. The magic is in being accountable, taking responsibility and raising our awareness about what we create in the world.  In our busy, hectic days it’s so easy to skim the top layer of existence just to survive from one moment to the next and any exercise that gives us an opportunity to go a bit deeper – is a good one. 

I tried something new this year that has been valuable for me and I wanted to share it with you.  The idea behind this “January Retrospective” as Martin Seligman calls it in his book Authentic Happiness, is to rate your satisfaction in the of areas of your life that are important to you. This exercise gives you an opportunity to evaluate how satisfied you are with each of the domains you value most in your life.

These are the domains I chose:

• Love
• Profession
• Finances
• Play
• Friends
• Family
• Health
• Creativity
• Overall

Rate your satisfaction with each of the areas of your life you have chosen on a scale from 1(abysmal) to 10 (perfect).  Then write a couple of sentences about each of them that sum it up.

I’ll share with you an interesting thing that happened with me when I did this last night.  I was doing what most people do – focusing on the area I knew I needed to and wanted to build upon this year – because I had not met my goals last year.  I had skipped straight to rating my “overall” domain quite low because I was evaluating my overall life satisfaction based primarily on that one area.  After I completed this exercise, I realized that I had rated my satisfaction with all but 2 of my domains at 8 and higher. So in review, it raised how I felt with my “overall” satisfaction. 

It’s so easy to evaluate ourselves on the one area of our lives that we feel we haven’t mastered and completely overlook all of the other important, valuable contributions we do make.  This exercise does a great job of placing value on all aspects of our lives.

I can say that after completing my first “January Retrospective” I already feel a little happier!

‘Twas 2 Days Before Christmas

‘Twas 2 days before Christmas and all was a-flutter,

Still baking to do and we’re all out of butter.

 

Pre-Boxing Day sales are in their full swing,

As I think of the gifts and joy that they’ll bring.

  

Gentle ‘Charlie Brown’ snow flakes float from the sky,

And a gem of a parking spot catches my eye.

 

I weave through the lot with precision and skill,

As a red SUV thinks to test my good will.

 

I’m a black-belt in shopping and getting my spot,

And to challenge me now, he wisely chooses not.

 

Snug as a bug-in-a-rug I pull into my space,

I head to the entrance to start the seasonal race.

 

Somewhere between Lords-a-Leapin’ and 8 Geese-a-Layin’,

I whip out my black belt moves and then start a-prayin’!

 

‘Buy-one-get-one for free’ screams the sign in that store,

‘We’re closing our doors’ smoothly lure several more.

 

I’m beginning to sweat as I imagine the great deals,

I can’t pass up those offers, they’re practically steals!

 

I’ll take a quick peak inside, as I may need one of those,

Grinchy teacups, purple vases or Muppet slippers for my popsicle toes.

 

I’ll take 2 or 4, maybe more just for me,

Never mind what I’m spending it’s the savings I see!

(That’s the black-belt shopping decree!!)

 

I grab a life-time supply of these things I might need,

Thinking I’ll get to gift shopping in my own time and speed.

 

Look at that, the mall’s closing and I’ve forgotten my list!

All these bags with great deals are now hurting my wrists.

 

I crawl home sore and tired, the butter I must borrow,

Thank goodness it’s just the 23^rd and I still have tomorrow!

 ~ Kimberly L. Martin

On Being Thankful

With Thanksgiving and the holiday season upon us, now is the perfect time to reflect upon what we are thankful for in our lives.

Many years ago Oprah spoke about keeping what she called a “gratitude” journal.  At the time it wasn’t mainstream thinking that what you focus on in your life grows; I just liked the idea and felt it was something I could do easily, so I began my own “gratitude” journal.

I’ve had my share of ups and downs over the years, but even on my worst days, I would force myself to come up with a minimum of 5 things I was grateful for in my day.  There were many nights when I’d just sit there looking at that damn page feeling like I had nothing to write, but I wouldn’t let myself close it without writing something. How ungrateful would that be! (I thought to myself). I knew that no matter how bad things were for me in the moment, there were people out there facing worse, so I’d better find something to be grateful for.

A funny thing happened to me over the years that I attribute to this journal. It actually changed the way I look at all situations in my life now.  It’s like I’ve retrained my mind to see the silver lining in anything I face – job loss, death of a loved one, financial struggles, health issues etc, and it’s heightened my gratitude for the good things too.  Without a doubt it has contributed to the happiness I feel in my life. 

A couple of years ago I was introduced to the concept of Positive Psychology and the realization that happiness is a choice – that we can change our experience of a situation through different thinking about it.  Happiness is not based (wholly) on the occurrences in our life, but our interpretation of them.

Wondering what your level of gratitude is? There is a free assessment you can take to determine your level of gratitude at: http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/Default.aspx.  You’ll see many free assessments here.  You can find the “Gratitude Questionnaire” by scrolling down the list.

Gratitude is enhanced when shared with others. This holiday season, let someone important in your life know what you are most grateful for about them.  For yourself, start your own gratitude journal.  Every day, write 5 things that you are grateful for in your life.  These are my top 2 every time: 1. My health. 2. My husband Dave and my dog-daughter Emma. I figure without these things, nothing else matters and with them, anything after that is gravy!

Acts of Kindness

It’s World Peace Day today!  Today encourages us to be kind to others and to teach others to be peaceful.

There are many ways to cultivate peace in the world and in our business; through our actions, our thoughts and even our language.  We often think that the only form of violence is through action, but our thoughts and words carry with them a powerful energy that has an impact on the world around us too.

There is a great book by Marshall B. Rosenberg called “Nonviolent Communication, The Language of Life” in which he shares a way of communicating to peacefully resolve personal, professional and political differences. In it he reminds us that we have a choice in every situation, and changing our language to reflect that deepens our compassion for ourselves and others.

So today, what can you do to cultivate peace in your world?  What can you commit to doing differently in your thoughts, words or actions for one day?

Here some ideas for service providers:

• Offer a free snack or drink to all your clients today
• Offer 10% or $10 off their next treatment to all who come in today
• Raise your awareness of your thoughts.  Become aware of thoughts of anger or resentment towards others and practice compassion remembering we’re all on our own journey
• Be mindful of the words we speak to others – are we putting the other person down or “in their place” to make us right?   Practice listening and understanding the other’s point of view even if we don’t agree.
• Meditate.  Be still.
• Have fun!  Do something playful – something that brings you joy!  Have a draw or contest at your office that encourages happiness.
• Donate a portion of your earnings today to a cause close to your heart.

 Be the droplet that starts the ripple in the pond.

 “A smile is the beginning of peace.” – Mother Theresa

How to Manage Your Time and Energy Through the Holiday Season

The holidays are fast approaching and with them come the addition of items to our already full ‘to-do’ lists!   At the best of times, an entrepreneur struggles to get everything done in their day, and with the addition of entertaining, party planning and emotions running high, it’s easy to get burned out and off course.

When it comes to time management, the basic principals are:

• Set clear, compelling goals daily, weekly and monthly that align with your annual goals
• Prioritize based on importance and time-sensitivity
• Use a planner to keep & book your appointments – including personal
• Be proactive vs reactive (where possible)

Sometimes though, even when we do all of that, we can find ourselves depleted. 

There is a growing school of thought that you will be more fulfilled, happier and get more done if you focus on managing your energy rather than your time.

In an article from Harvard Business Review by Tony Schwartz, Catherine McCarthy, Oct. 1, 2007, they identify 4 key areas as being critical to well-being while you work.  Even though their article is based on a corporate setting, the principals are sound and worth reviewing as good practice for entrepreneurs and their staff to keep ourselves and those who work with us, motivated, happy and productive. 

The article talks about creating “renewal rituals” for each of the following 4 areas:

1. The body: Find ways to increase physical energy ie: frequent breaks, getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising
2. Emotions:  Raise awareness of feelings at different times of day. Incorporate relaxation exercises to deal with stressful situations. ie: deep breathing, expressing appreciation to others.
3. Mind:  Focus. Multi-tasking is inefficient. “A temporary shift in attention from one task to another – stopping to answer an email or take a phone call, for instance – increases the amount of time necessary to finish the primary task by 25%…”  It is far more productive to focus on one task at a time, for an extended period (60-90 min).
4. Spirit: Engage in activities daily that are in alignment with what you value most, and that which provides you a sense of meaning and purpose in all areas of your life.

You can read the full article here: http://academy.clevelandclinic.org/Portals/40/HBRManageEnergy.pdf

At any time of year – especially at the holidays, it’s a given that the list of things to do is never ending.  There is a sense of reward when we accomplish the critical things on our task list for the day, and good time management is a vehicle for this success.  Having the energy to accomplish those tasks is the fuel for our entrepreneurial engine, without which we can end up stuck in ‘Park’ (or lost in the woods!).

If this is a topic of interest to you, and you’d like to read more, there is a great book on this topic that I’ve read called “The Power of Full Engagement: Managing Energy, Not Time, Is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal” by Jim Loehr & Tony Schwartz.

7 Ways to Make Your Clients Feel Important

 “Pretend that every single person you meet has a sign around his or her neck that says, ‘Make me feel important.’ Not only will you succeed in sales, you will succeed in life.”

Mary Kay Ash
1918-2001, Founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics

 Mary Kay’s quote reminds us that the key to success in business and life is to value the important people in our lives – be they clients, family or friends. 

So how do we do that?  This is done by making them feel; seen, heard and understood. When people feel seen, heard and understood, they feel valued. 

What do you do in your client interactions to make your clients feel unique and honoured?  Making people feel valued is very important for building relationships and a strong business.

Here are 7 ways to leave your clients feeling seen, heard and understood:

Seen:

Connection – Make eye contact and/or engage clients in conversation around a topic you discussed the last time you met.  If it’s a first meeting engage in some small talk to find similarities. This helps to put you both in the moment and builds a connection.

Use their name – This tells them “I see you”, not just another body in the crowd.  Something happens in us when we are called by name.  We feel remembered, important and, in a way, special. 

Heard:

Listen to the other person when they are speaking.  A way to show that you are listening to them is to acknowledge or paraphrase their point of view – weather you agree with it or not. You can try something like “I hear what you are saying.  If I got it right, you’re telling me that it would be helpful to have a package for seniors that includes education on stretching.  Did I hear you correctly?”

Body language – Open and attentive.  That means, no crossed arms or reading emails/texts or texting/writing while listening. Albert Mehrabians study on effective communication showed that, in the way messages are received: 7% is what you say, 38% is how you say it & 55% is non-verbal (incl. body language & facial expression.)

Get feedback – Everyone likes to be asked for their opinion.  You can ask for feedback in many ways: after each session verbally, or more formally through the occasional written survey.  It makes your clients feel like you care about their experience and gives you a great way to get to know more about them and their experience with you.

Understood:

Acknowledge their point of view even if you’re in disagreement.  Use the technique above in “Listen” to let them know you do understand what they are telling you.

Add a little extra something – Everyone likes to feel that they’ve received a little extra value for their money; it makes them feel special and valued.  It can be an extra few minutes of treatment or a cup of coffee/tea/water that lets them know you’re thinking of them.