5 Ways to Help a Friend or Loved One Overcome with Holiday Stress

The holiday season can be a time of great joy or great sadness.  If you have a friend or loved one who is coping with a job loss, death, serious illness, or financial strife, it can be hard to know how to help.

These tips from the authors of Overcomers Inc: True stories of hope, courage, and inspiration will help.

1. Be sensitive to your loved ones’ limited financial resources. If your brother’s just lost his job, bragging about your holiday ski trip would be cruel.  Instead, suggest low-cost or free holiday gift suggestions so that everyone can participate, even if money is tight. 
2. For the recently widowed or others who are in mourning, don’t avoid mentioning the departed family member. Gently reminisce about favorite family memories.  It’s better to speak of the departed that to carefully avoid all mention of his or name.  Follow the lead of the person in grief.  If the discussion is too difficult, she will change the subject.  Many times, the widow or widower will appreciate the chance to share a memory of the lost loved one.
3. Allow people to have their space, but watch out for isolation.  Stress and grief can be exhausting.  Your friend or family member may not be up to the traditional all day shopping trip or noisy holiday party.  Let her set the pace.  However, if you sense that your loved one is withdrawing from everything, consider stopping by for a quiet visit or a cup of tea.  Loneliness is most acute during the holidays so some extra loving care will be very helpful.
4. Invite your loved one to an uplifting community activity.  Holiday concerts, drives to see colored lights, and religious activities can be a source of connection and enjoyment.  It’s hard to not to smile when you see a child’s joy or a humorous holiday play.  Fun is often in short supply, especially when things are hard.  Strive to bring some joy to your loved one and increase their contact with their community.
5. Be patient and understanding.  Your efforts to bring joy and comfort will be appreciated, even if your hurting loved one can’t express that gratitude right at the moment.  A person dealing with a serious life challenge can be emotionally fragile so be gentle, encouraging, and present.  That understanding is the best possible gift you can provide.

  

 
 

6 Steps to Overcoming Firsts

Being an entrepreneur is just a big, fat pile of “firsts”! Sometimes you think they will never end – especially in the beginning years.  It’s so easy to feel overwhelmed with the unending litany of new and uncomfortable tasks; business plans, sales, accounting, bookkeeping, websites, creating products, packaging services, renting space, social networking…the list goes on and on. 

All we want to do is practice our craft, yet in order to get people into our practice and do just that, we are forced to do all of this other “stuff” to get there.  Hmmm, does it sound like I’m speaking from experience? Let me share with you what I’ve learned about pushing forward when all you want to do is pull back…

 Here are 6 steps you can take today to get you through your “Why the &%$# am I doing this!” moments:

1. Big Picture: Revisit your vision.  Remember why you decided to start your business in the first place, and focus on the results you are working to realize. Look at the big picture.  Also, connect with something bigger than yourself and the knowing that you will be ok.  This too shall pass. (…and it will pass faster after you do it!)
2. Cry it Out: Sometimes you just need to curl up in a ball and cry “Why! Why! Why!”  Then you wipe away your chocolate-tinged tears and get back to work!  It’s your life and it’s your business.  Allow yourself time to express your frustrations in the way that works for you, and then move on.
3. Take a Step Back: Avoid leaping to drastic conclusions like assuming that just because you haven’t had any new clients this month, that your practice will fail.  Challenge any limiting beliefs and do a reality check on what’s really true about this situation and review what makes you so brilliant!
4. Get “Quality” Support: Imagine having someone who can either do the work you hate and are avoiding, or someone who has a formula for doing what you struggle with?  Your struggle is someone else’s talent – find them and ask them to help you. Find someone who specializes in the type of support you are looking for. In today’s entrepreneurial world the resources are abundant – VA’s, coaches, home study programs, books etc.  Plan, interview and do your homework so that you are working with the resource that will serve your needs the best.
5. Get Over It!  Yup, that pretty much sums it up.  Step up to the plate, take responsibility for the choice you made to go into business for yourself.  You are stronger, more talented, gifted and brilliant than you give yourself credit for.  Only by stretching and doing the uncomfortable will you be able to know how strong you really are.  Flex those business muscles!
6. Take Action: It’s imperative to take the steps you need to move forward in creating the business and life you want to have.  YOU WILL NOT GROW YOUR BUSINESS HIDING IN YOUR OFFICE, BEHIND YOUR COMPUTER OR BURRIED IN YOUR 100TH SPIRITUAL GROWTH COURSE!  You know what needs to be done to grow your business – and if you don’t – ask someone who does!  

Remember, when it comes to firsts, after you’ve done it once, you’ve overcome not knowing how to do it, and it’s not a first anymore!  Add one more thing to your list of things you know how to do.

You went into business for yourself to serve the world in a way that only you can.  You have all that it takes to live your dream!

Events for Fall 2009

As the end of summer approaches to make way for autumn, we wish you a relaxing, enjoyable and profitable transition into the season of colour!

We have 2 events to tell you about:

Preview call September 2, 2009 at 7pm EST On this call I will share with you the 5 Key Strategies for Promoting Your Business with Authenticity & Joy!  I will also share details about our upcoming 6 Week Super-Size Sales Bootcamp Teleclass that starts September 15, 2009.  Click here for more details and to register: http://www.martinbusinessleadership.com/six-week-super-size-sales-bootcamp-free-teleclass/

6 Week Super-Size Sales Bootcamp Teleclass Sept. 15, 2009 at 1pm EST  If you’re looking to strengthen your “business muscle” and come away with a the tools to promote and sell your offering with integrity, sign up for this 6 week teleclass at our introductory price of only $397.00!  Visit here for further details: http://www.martinbusinessleadership.com/coaching

Blogtalk Radio Interview

I was recently interviewed by Catherine VanWetter on her Blogtalk radio show “Inspirations of the Heart”.  To hear our discussion “How to Sell With Authenticity & Joy!”, click the link below and scroll down the left side of the page to listen to the interview: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/inspirationsoftheheart

*NEW* Blogtalk Radio Interview – September 28, 2009 8:30pm EST

Join me for an exciting 3o minutes on “Master Your Universe”  Law of Attraction Radio! I will be the guest on September 28, 2009 at 8:30pm EST.  You can join us by visiting this link http://loaradionetwork.com/sabrina-kinckle.html.  See you there!

 Exciting News!

Our 2 business coaching programs: Selling With Integrity and 6 Week Super-Size Sales Bootcamp Teleseminar are both qualified for 3 category B CEU’s each, by the College of Massage Therapists of Ontario & the College of Massage Therapists of Newfoundland & Labrador!

*NEW* Book Launch

As many of you may know already, I am a contributing author to the soon-to-be released anthology Overcomers, Inc., True Stories of Hope, Courage and Inspiration due out this fall.  This book is filled with gripping stories by 36 people from all walks of life.  Overcomers, Inc. will make you smile, move you to tears, and fill you with the strength to face life’s challenges. Right now we are giving away a free ebook at: www.overcomersinc.com/grace   Stay tuned for more!

Look forward to “meeting” you at one or more of our events!

Kimberly

Believing in the Brilliance of Others

The other morning when I let my Portuguese Water Dog Emma out for her morning duties, I noticed a fledgling Robin in our back yard.  This little guy hadn’t mastered flight yet, as a matter of fact, it was probably its first moment out of the nest. 

I watched him all day trying to fly – all on his own.  I thought he had been abandoned by his parents and being the “savior of all things furry, feathery and small” I was ready to make a little nest for him as per the instructions I looked up on the internet. I researched what to feed him, how to feed him and how to care for the little guy until…I don’t know when.  I told my husband Dave about him and he kept telling me to leave him alone that he needed to learn on his own.  I became obsessed with watching his failed attempts and then periods of rest.  To allow him space without fear or interruption, I kept Emma out of the yard and took her for a long walk to give “Peep” – yes, of course I named him (or her) – the space to keep practicing.

A few hours later I saw his mom arrive to feed him while he was on the ground,  I then knew for sure it was all part of flight training.  Later in the afternoon, Peep was still in our yard, on the low rung of our garden fence and since he didn’t seem wary of humans yet, I approached him.  I took oh, about 100 pictures of him and I crept closer and closer until I realized that he didn’t mind me being there.  I got right up to him and he let me rub his little spotted belly.  That was so great! After sharing this amazing news with Dave, he promptly told me that now I will have to look after him since his parents won’t take him back now that he’s been touched by a human.  Back to the internet to verify this fact as the guilt washed over me.  Nope, it’s a myth.  Peep will not be shunned by his family.  Phew.

Around dinner time Peep’s mom and dad came back, fed him some more and then more flight training.  By nightfall he had made it into the tree in our yard and I’m guessing, into his nest to sleep.   The whole day of watching this guy struggle, then succeed made me think how many times in my desire to “help” those I perceive as suffering in some way, that my interventions could actually be hindering them.  Gulp.  

At the same time that Peep was in our yard, I was struggling with a family situation that was pushing all my “savior” buttons and I was contemplating intervening to “help” those involved.  That day with Peep taught me how we can inadvertently cripple those we’re trying to assist simply by our beliefs about what they are capable of.  Peep reminded me of the brilliance within each and every one of us!

How to sell with authenticity and integrity

The cornerstone of the health and wellness service industry is ethical behaviour and integrity.  For small to mid-sized business owners, the business is a direct extension of us, and we want our presence to be in alignment with what we offer and how we offer it.  We want to be authentic; genuine, real and true to our selves, our beliefs and values. 

Hmmm, how much of that sounds like selling?  It’s actually the exact opposite of how most people define selling.  Well, not to me! 

I spent my 15-years of corporate sales work in the healthcare industry being highly successful because I worked in a way that was in alignment with my ethics, was true to who I was, and with honesty and sincerity.  Yes, it is possible for all that stuff to live together in harmony.

The starting point is to know yourself – so that you know when you’re in or out of alignment with who you are.

Here are 5 steps to knowing yourself better:

1. What are your true values?  These are the things that you must have in all work and personal interactions.  (eg: honesty, affection, commitment, independence etc.)  You can find values lists on the internet for ideas
2. What do you stand for?  (What do you and your business represent in the world?)
3. What will you not compromise?
4. What are your top 5 strengths? Things that come with ease, that you look forward to doing, and time passes quickly when you’re doing it.
5. What have others told you you’re good at?

As strange it sounds, sometimes what we know least is our self.  Our society is externally focused and motivated so it’s easy to lose our way.  When we know who we are and what we represent, we now have a touchstone to measure our actions against.  That’s how you sell and operate your business with authenticity and integrity.

Next time we’ll look at:  Using your Emotional Intelligence in selling!